Welcome to another episode of Shit I Did Last Week!
Well, ok, not episode… but when I finally get up the courage to put together a YouTube video, you’ll be the first to know.
Anyway, this week kind of speaks for itself. I’ve got a new attitude ;).
Edit: Full disclosure… I had to change to this gif from a Tina Turner gif because for some reason, I had it in my brain that it was a Tina song… because I’m a fucking mess…
You’ll see what I mean… keep reading!
Comfort & Clarity: My New Life Motto
Too Much YouTube
I watch entirely too much YouTube… I think I’m addicted.
Also, just watched the 2017 version of It for the first time. It was pretty damn good, actually.
Except… you ever seen The Last American Virgin? If so, did you see anything familiar in?
Yeah… that fucking sucks.
I’ve Caught A Cold…
So I’ve caught some kind of head cold… or sinus thing… post-nasal drip, whatever you’d like to call it.
All I know is that my throat itches and the echinacea drops I had to put in my water made it taste like Honey Jack… not a good thing, by the way.
For right now, I’m just enjoying this Zen music I’ve got on. It’s so soothing, I may stop and do a little meditation to it.
That being said, I think I’d like to do more exploration of yogic practices. I was really into my yoga practice for a while there, and I don’t really know when that stopped. But I just did bed yoga for the first time in weeks, and now I feel great.
Until tomorrow <3 .
I’m Sick… But I Still Feel Good
I’m sick, I’m exhausted, but I still feel good.
I spent the majority of the day looking for blog topics in the health & wellness niche, and I’m really excited to start pitching.
I’m also feeling much more confident about this blog series, too. At first, I was unsure if it was the right move to make on my blog. But now, I’m just excited to be creating something.
And that’s really what matters, right? Because who wants to be practical if it means you’ll be miserable?
I’m sure I’ll find the happy medium someday. Until then, I hope these posts help people in some way <3.
Poem: Untitled, Unedited
When you’ve got nothing left to lose,
Turned on, but not in the mood.
There’s nowhere left for you to go;
You find you’re standing all alone.
Then the stallion comes to play,
And you think, Maybe just today…
Then you rub the pain away…
Maybe just today.
An Early Journal Entry
Normally, I’d wait until just before I fall asleep to write, because then I’d have a whole day to reflect upon. However, I also feel like I should be writing my thoughts as they come.
Anyway, today is ALL about soup and tea… lord, so much tea. And water. Although, I slept like a log until damn near 9:30 a.m., so even though I had to rush to work, I’m definitely feeling better.
And even though I have to work weekends, I still really love Saturdays and Sundays. I get to do enough work to feel productive, and then I get off at 3 and get to chill the rest of the day.
Plus, the majority of the storm clouds from the hurricane have passed… or it seems like it. It’s so sunny and fresh out right now, with only a few lingering grey patches…
… what a beautiful metaphor for life <3.
Later that night…
Aight, y’all… this one’s gotta be quick because I’m already up later than intended and I really gotta catch some Zs before work in the a.m.
First, I’m addicted to this vegan “sandwich” I make with an everything bagel, avocado, and nutritional yeast. May not be the healthiest thing I could ever make, but it’s still better than others.
I’ll have to post the recipe sometime.
Second, I’ve found that I don’t only miss writing music… I miss making it. Putting together my little arrangements in Garageband, even if they were rough? Those were the days, man…
All this was sparked by a repost I saw from Godproducers (@godproducers on Instagram), originally from Trench Lord B’s page (@trenchlordb). He was working with a midi controller and a laptop, creating a beat. And my heart started to get warm and my fingers started to itch…
… nostalgia for the process.
I have no idea what I’m gonna do to get my hands on the right equipment again (right now, at least), since my Macbook Pro is outta commission. But it is so good to have this feeling again.
It was definitely a long time coming… I was afraid it might be gone forever.
Until tomorrow <3.
Gross Things I’m Learning About My Sinuses…
Here’s a yummy thought…
When your sinuses are acting up, some of the snot drains past your ears and into… I don’t know, somewhere past your jaw.
So that’s why it always hurts to swallow almost 4 days after you get sick. Blegh.
Oh yeah, and I could have sworn I heard a bird screaming outside, but it was really just the pathetic whistle of my own labored breathing. Yay.
So, umm… nothing particularly profound in this entry. I’m just feeling sorry for myself because my head is so full of snot…
Another Untitled, Unedited Poem
You can’t make me into your image…
I’m not a land for you to claim.
You cannot conquer me in my mind.
I am not a treasure for you to find.
Comfort & Clarity
Edit: NOW we get to the [mock] meat & potatoes of this post.
I’m feeling very calm tonight. Ended up doing a good 25 minutes of yoga with some meditation mixed in. It was very nice.
As I was doing it, there was one phrase that kept making its way into my head: comfort & clarity.
The backstory of this phrase: my voice teacher always used to help us understand how we were meant to feel when we sang. Comfort comes first, then the clarity of the voice.
But I think it’s also a great motto for life. Although, I’d interpret it as becoming comfortable in the ebb and flow and impermanence of life while having clear intentions.
What do you think?
OH, I’ve also become reacquainted with Nightwish… you know, the symphonic metal band?
Particularly their first lead singer, Tarja Turunen, who is both an operatic/lyric soprano AND an AWESOME songwriter. She’s proof that you don’t have to choose. She loved classical singing, but she also loved rock, so she embraced both (that’s how I interpret it).
Why choose between your arm or your leg if you don’t have to?
More on Comfort & Clarity
As I become more and more clear about what my purpose is… or rather, how I want to help people… the following reflection is what’s come up:
I want to prompt people to ask questions, by asking questions.
Probably the philosopher in me.
I just feel like we spend too much of our lives accepting mediocre answers, and not asking enough questions. Why are things the way they are? And why to we always have to accept things as they are by constantly trying to conform?
And that right there… it’s kind of a weird paradox. Conforming by standing out.
Everyone else is killing themselves trying, so if you aren’t there must be something wrong with you, right?
How can we become more comfortable with discomfort, and clearer with our intentions? And how uncomfortable will we really be if we learn to take everything in stride?
I don’t know… for me, the jury’s still out on that. I guess I don’t have enough experience to say, but that’s how’d I really like to start approaching my life.
What about you?